I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
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I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
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Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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