And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
