For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize