I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just gift wrapped bread.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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