You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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