home. puking in laundry basket.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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