32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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