no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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