Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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