i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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