I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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