3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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