I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
