With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
