I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize