1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
