There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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