I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
