I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
