I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize