He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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