i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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