He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
