You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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