cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
