From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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