THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
