maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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