Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
