You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
