you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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