She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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