Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
