are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
