I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
