this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just blew my weed a kiss
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
