i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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