Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize