I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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