but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
