They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize