hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
