I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
