i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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