8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
