I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
