I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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