Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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