I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
