can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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