Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
