there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
