Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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