I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
