Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize