She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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