I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
