thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
