Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
