it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
