Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
