Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
