Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
