Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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